(She called me in tears. “He broke up with me!” she sobbed. “He doesn’t want to be with me anymore.”)
(I eagerly opened the email from the Company I want to work for. It has been a week and a half since my phone interview. That must mean they are interested. “We are sorry to inform you…”)
(She lay on her bed and opened up Instagram. There was a bright, sunny photo of all of her best friends having fun at a party that she knew nothing about.)
Rejection hurts. We’ve all felt it at one point or another. Maybe some of these scenarios are familiar to you. Maybe all 3!
Scientists did a MRI study of people’s brains and found that the same part of the brain lights up when people experience emotional pain as does when we feel physical pain.
Yes, that does mean you can take Tylenol and dull the feelings somewhat.
But, there is something you can do to boost your self- esteem after rejection that is healthier than taking preventative Tylenol every day in case someone hurts you.
A way to ease emotional pain and boost your self- esteem is to use Affirmations.
BUT!!! Not the kind of Affirmations we have been taught.
You know, the ones where we are told to say over and over-
“I am beautiful and lovable”
“I am a valued professional that companies love working with”
“I am fun to be around and people want to be my friend”
While those types of affirmations are nice, they will not work if you do not have the belief in your subconscious mind that they are true. This is because they are words that someone else has told us to say.
We can create our own Affirmations and because we have created them, we can believe them and they will work
What you want to do is write down 5 things you like about yourself that you do well or that are positive about you.
Then, you want to write a short 2 paragraph essay about each belief.
You can’t just THINK about it. You must write it down. If you just think about it, your mind will gloss over it. The scientists say it will be like thinking you are hungry, imagining what is in your refrigerator and finding you are still hungry.
Writing it down cements the beliefs in your mind and solidifies the affirmation. Writing the essay causes you to find valid reasons why your beliefs are true and acts as a second validation for your mind that what you are saying is reasonable and true.
We all experience rejection and it legitimately hurts. Not fun. Not one little bit.
But the good news is we don’t have to let it hurt our self-esteem. We can bounce back with confidence using affirmations we can believe are true.
I tried this after learning of the study and it works!
The Affirmations I created are:
- I am funny
- I try to see things from others points of view
- I am smart
- I am adventurous
- I am loyal and willing to make up over insisting that I am right (even if I am right haha)
Would you be willing to hit reply and share yours with me? Writing them down helps solidify them so I’d be doing you a favor J
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