Want to know what the number one confessed sin was for this holiday season?
Are you ready? Curious?
The number one sin that was confessed to was:
- Getting irritated with or angry at your spouse/partner.
Now that can make you feel better- (I am not the only one married to such an irritating person)- or it can make you feel worse (having a significant other can be challenging).
I joke with the first parenthesis. But, in all seriousness, navigating relationships IS challenging and the holidays bring added stress with all the activities, responsibilities, sugary treats, and alcohol flowing parties.
It can be very easy to slip into negativity. We may have too much togetherness with vacation time or feel like we are bearing the brunt of the responsibilities and duties.
If you got angry or upset with your significant other, you are not alone.
The good news is there is a solution. There is something you can do every day that only takes 5 minutes and will drastically improve your relationship.
That is a big statement but it’s true.
Only 5 minutes out of your day. That’s equal to 300 seconds.
How can I guarantee that this will improve your relationship?
From experience and logic.
It’s only 5 minutes out of your day so why not try it and see for yourself?
Want to know what “IT” is?
My husband and I went to church on Sunday and the priest gave this amazing homily. He told us that what he heard most in confession was people felt bad that they were irritated by or got upset with their spouse.
His advice was given for a religious congregation but you can implement this solution even if you are not religious.
He suggested Praying for your partner for 5 minutes a day. If you are not religious, you could meditate or set intentions for your spouse.
This is not just the type of prayer where you say, “and please look out for _________”
This 5- minute prayer is specific.
To make the prayer/intention specific you will need to find out what your partner is thinking about.
What will their day be like tomorrow? Are they working on anything specific at work? Facing any particular challenges?
What are they hoping for? What goals have they set for themselves?
When you know the answers to these things you can say a specific prayer. Some examples might include:
“Please help______with his ___________ project tomorrow.”
“Please guide me in how I can help___________ accomplish her goal of ____________.”
“I know __________ has been worried about__________. Please let the outcome be _________ or even better, for the good of all”
These specific prayers/intentions improve your relationship in several ways.
- You are communicating better, trying to learn more about your partner so you can be specific in your prayer.
- You are getting out of your own head and focusing your prayer/meditation time on someone else. When we give back to others we get back more than we give.
- You start searching for good things to pray about. You focus in a positive/loving manner on your spouse. When you focus on the good things you notice the good things and that brings you closer. We all want to be appreciated. Your spouse will most likely be nicer to you because they feel appreciated and loved.
- You remember that your spouse is your teammate and that you are in this together. Your goal is to help your partner and to make their life better. It is hard to find someone irritating when you are constantly reminding yourself of all the good things about them.
- You become more understanding of your significant other’s moods. You know that he is worried about a work project or that he may not have time to complete his goal and then you are less likely to take things personally.
- You become unified. True partners who work together for a better outcome for the other.
There are many intangible ways this 5-minute prayer will improve your relationship.
Try it. Spend 5 minutes, only 300 seconds, praying for your spouse and see how much better your relationship gets.